Bewitching

I was minding my own business this afternoon, procrastinating as usual, when I logged on to my PASSWORD-PROTECTED computer only to discover that there was a folder on the desktop named "Heather Dodds So Hot Right Now." I opened the folder and found the source of "You've Met Your Disk Quota" problem: several pictures of Heather and I. Pictures that I would post here but we're talking Too Hot To Handle.

Not only is the computer password protected with a very secret password but Heather was nowhere near said computer. She was several minutes away.

So I rang her up.

"How?"

Maniacal laughter.

Turns out SHE GUESSED THE PASSWORD and HACKED IN from a REMOTE SERVER.

I seriously need new friends.

Later, while en route to Starbucks, I made the brutal mistake of going The Long Way. The Long Way takes twice as long as The Short Way and, while involving a higher speed limit, it also involves twice as many lights and twice as many U-turns.

U-turns are common in Southern California because protected left-turn greens are common. During my stay here, I have fallen in love with these green arrows. In Chicago, I was always fighting traffic, having to make a quick left while the light was yellow and before it turned red. Here, I have my very own green.

Except for tonight.

I got to the first intersection of The Long Way trek and moved myself into the left-turn lane.

Click-click-click went my turn signal.
Alanis was hollering about irony.
I was kicking myself for going The Long Way.

And then I noticed that there was NO GREEN. The arrow was pointing STRAIGHT.

STRAIGHT AHEAD. NOT LEFT.

Peering through the darkness, trying to see where exactly the green arrow had disappeared to, I faintly heard my phone ringing (Alanis was singing really loud).

Caller ID gave her away and I answered the phone:

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GREEN?"