Name: Abigail M. Schilling
Why exactly it took me so freakin' long
We were making dinner side by side when it dawned on us that we were out of Albertson's French Bread. A meal cannot be had without the bread and I pondered the possibilities of procuring bread before dinner was ready.
The grocery store is about a 80-second drive away. Factor in check out and I should be able to get the bread and get back in less than five minutes. It's been done before.
"Will you watch my chicken if I go get the bread? Just move the stuff around with the spatula once or twice."
I left in the Explorer blasting Barenaked Ladies and trying to decide if I wanted to use my car cash or my debit card for the $1.98 two loaf purchase.
I parked and was in the store in the allotted 80 seconds. I grabbed the bread and then got into the 15-items-or-less-line.
Then things turned ugly.
Two junior highers were at the front of the line. They were buying candy. And they were paying IN CHANGE.
A. Are these girls not aware that this place sells the most amazing bread in the world?
B. Get a freakin' checking account already.
And then I realized I had become ...
... grumpy old lady. I am only 21 and I am grumpy old lady. I might as well have a bumper sticker that says, "I brake for BINGO" and you know, be buying Grape Nuts.
It took over ten minutes round trip but I didn't notice because I was too busy checking for gray hairs and convincing myself that I still think buying candy is important.
Because I do. And sometimes I pay in change--I do have car cash. And I use it at McDonald's on Dollar Tuesday. You can get a 6-piece nuggets for A DOLLAR! Now is that a deal or what?
posted by Abigail at 10:56 PM
5 Comments:
Your angst is understandable. They should have a checkout line for people who are actually in a hurry, people who have left their roommates wanting for bread. You know, emergencies!
Next time use your cash card for their purchase - double bonus: move 'em along and teach them a lesson in abundance. (you could enlighten them with a taste of the bread too).
#2 Just discovered 2 Whoppers for $3.... I eat the patties, tomatoes, pickles and lettuce, and Maddie gets the buns. Now that IS a deal.
I'm in a pissy mood so I shan't share my interpretation of the code word.
Heather Anne: Thank you for remembering the plight of the roommate left at home, wondering whence the bread will arrive.
Sal-Pal: me too. So pissy. But your use of the word "shan't" brought a faint glimmer of of a smile to my face.
Abs: can we get some dollar nuggets today?
You should find a little old man to marry. Then the two of you could put on sweaters and eat at McDonalds. You could split a 6 piece McNuggets and have water and eat for a $1. What a bargain! These kids today don't appreciate a bargain, you know?
Hello, Abigail.
secret word: ujthnl (Norwegian god of shopping and smoked herring)
Thanks, Heather.... Nnnnnnnnnugget Night!
My code word is from a rather inhibriated communist chinese fella "qdxuhq"!
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