I'm sorry; my life is really complicated

Why I might have been late for work:

I might not have been able to brush my teeth because someone might have been in the bathroom.

I might have finally decided to get dressed and then I discovered that what I wanted to where wasn't clean at all.

I might have been thinking about leaving but then my roommates starting cooking breakfast. I'm talking cooking, like with frying pans and, and ... orange juice.

Why I might not have done all the homework I was supposed to:

I might have gone to that Baby Shower because I wanted to see what gifts we got her.

I might have forgotten the book I read last month and therefore can't write a paper about it.

I might have gone to Chipotle for dinner and was just so full that I couldn't do anything for two hours.

Why I might have written a horrible blog post today:

I might have felt an excrutiating burden to my readership.

I might have tried to talk myself out of trying to impress people but I failed (failed in the talking, not the impressing).

I might have also failed to impress people.

I hate that.