Name: Abigail M. Schilling
The internet doesn't wait.
A first date is currently occuring about 20 inches from me and my computer. I wish it was further but there are about 70 people in this coffee shop. Seventy people.
She got a carmel mocha and he proudly got coffee. black.
"It's not coffee if you put other stuff in it." Really, then is plain cheesecake the only real cheesecake? What about toast, huh, huh?
She told him he was entitled to his opinion. He said, "well, I guess you're a girl, you don't like strong coffee."
Leave him now. He just made some sort of gender-coffee distinction. But moving on quickly he asks her the deep question:
"Are you an eye reader? Can you look people in the eye and know what they're thinking?" Well, Houdini, she doesn't have to because you're telling us all about YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND.
That's right. Dear readers, he wants us all to know that it's still a little bit awkward. With the new environment and all, its taking some time to adjust. Don't worry, he's been "through a whole lot tougher times than what I'm going through now. This is mostly just an annoyance."
It's okay though. He uses exercise as a stress reliever. "i love working out. Mostly running and swimming. Oh, and i'm totally into lifting now. That's new from this summer. I haven't been able to run in a month and a half. And that makes me grumpy, really really grumpy."
It just clears his mind. Really he wants to be back in the pool again, but he "can't wait to get back to running, man. My roomate and I, we like to run. Yeah, endorphines."
They had some great conversations last semester while running. And she is invited to join them. A threesome run. How romantic.
But wait. It just became more romantic. He's a pessimistic realist. She's an optimistic realist. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm starting to feel guilty. I should stop. And he just asked her a question. Things are looking up.
posted by Abigail at 8:51 PM
5 Comments:
Three things:
1. The Houdini line made me laugh so hard I peed my pants a little.
2. Plain cheesecake is the only real cheesecake.
3. I didn't really pee. But I laughed pretty hard.
This is the funniest thing I have read all day, and that says alot, because I have just been reading Dave Barry.
i took 3 shots of vodka before my last first date. they're annoying for all involved.
I would argue that the presence of cream can enhance the flavor of the coffee - although it should taste good on its own, it usually tastes better with some sweet, sweet cream.
I love overhearing conversations like that.
You know, if I was there (especially if I was there with my dog, Maddie) I would let out a big sigh... as in, "You have got to be kidding" sigh... and then my Maddie would let out an even bigger sigh (because she does that whenever I sigh).... and everyone would have to look because her sigh, well, it sounds like a dog sigh. At that point I can look at the guy and tell him the dog just told him, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!"
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