Name: Abigail M. Schilling
The Brows
I have big eyebrows. Big eyebrows are not becoming. I have come to grips with this and am willing to pay money to periodically have a woman rip them off my face. With hot wax.
I am not willing to pay to have a woman tell me that I have big eyebrows.
Every time I go in she says, "where or where have you bean?" She looks at my forehead area and gasps.
"I'm sorry, I've been really busy and my car was in the shop," I tell her.
"WALK! TAKE THE BUS!"
The urgency with which she treats my situation is not flattering. The urgency with which she treats my situation is, in fact, very offensive. The situation is not that urgent. The three precises that I wrote this weekend were urgent. The books I read, the people I prayed for, the fellowship I had, that was all very urgent.
The last six months have been filled with urgency. Lady, that is where I have bean.
Unfortunately, six months is long enough that the situation is becoming urgent. I have trained myself to focus on my hair or my eyes or my cheeks when looking in the mirror simply to avoid the eyebrow region. That way I don't gasp.
I was going to go in Saturday morning. I was going to go this afternoon. But I'm afraid of what she will say.
So until I get up the courage to face my fears (and foes), please don't look at my eyebrows.
posted by Abigail at 10:49 PM
11 Comments:
Take one of those artsey pictures of just your brows... and post 'em!
oooh - code word "mntef" - either early morning German without her coffee or what's left of a squished Smurf.
Morning Sunshine!
Aren't there any nice people who will rip your brows off of your face? With hot wax?
Well, this woman Mindy, who has The Largest Boobs in the World and also kinda looks like mystic surf Barbie is really sweet but she is in Chicago with the rest of sanity.
I feel like a mntef right now.
I'm going to go get a dknuof right now (morning coffee and bagel).
No, not the biggest boobs in the world... they are the biggest FAKE boobs in the world on a mystic surf Barbie who spends hours and hours in the tanning salon.
BTW, last month she took a cruise in the Mediterrean (her husband booked the trip)... she had no idea that Italy was where it was until they set into port. Mindy, go wax your bikini line.
btw, these code words are getting trickier to decipher.... I can't tell if this is Farsi or french.... "facvir" or "fqcvir" - either way it means "get out of my friggin way!"
this reminds me of a certain friends episode. too bad chandler's not around with his steady hand.
and also, that he's not real. sometimes i forget.
i want to come watch the rippage.
Minor detail: waxing is the only pain I can endure. Plucking is quite possibly the most painful experience I have endured. And I have burned myself and slammed my hand in the car door numerous times.
Secret word: hnrrh
That's the sound Maddie the Dog makes when she plops down to the floor from a sitting position.
LOL (00^
it's the rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip! tug tug tug smiick! that happens on the lower part of the brow and when you're older includes the upper portion of your eye lid that really kills...
You have to have a Mindy do it, because there is not enough intelligence to assume she's mean. She's just, well, just Mindy. Come to think of it, I'm going to call to make an appointment.
Like daughter, like mother. :)
"grjibj" - Norwegian varmint
and once again i'm apparently the only one in the world who likes eyebrows. it might explain why i had to go to eastern europe to find a wife...
You should go to my girl, Jill. I've been seeing her for almost 6 years now, and she's amazing. Since I've known her she's had 2 kids, Cade and Dillan. You have to be cool if you name your kids Cade and Dillan.
Most of the time when I come in, she says "Oh, you did so well! So well at not touching them for me!"
Sometimes I used to think I don't need to pay a lady to wax my eyebrows, I'm perfectly qualified to keep them up.
That is a lie.
Therefore, I have Jill.
Email me if you want the number.
You don't have to have them ripped off. Just have them permed and they'll pull in really tight.
Hello, Abigail.
secret word: hfyli (leading Romanian home eyebrow perm).
Mindy sounds nice.
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