Total Truth Time: I LOVE Britney Spears

It's embarrassing. I know. I just can't keep in it any longer.

I know she is totally white trash and my time is way more valuable than reading about her but I CAN'T HELP IT.

I am having a really hard time even writing this blog post because writing is NOT reading about Britney.

First of all, here are some direct quotes from her and K-Fed's dating show:

• During her quest, Britney hits the stage of a huge stadium filled with screaming fans ("They're all here for me") and travels in her RV ("You feel like you're in a midget home"). She asks tourmate JC Chasez what his favorite sex positions are but doesn't receive much of an answer ("He's shy").
  
  
• Once in London, Kevin goes shirtless, but before he knows it Britney is grilling him on intimate matters and ultimately suggesting: "Let's just screw all day."
  
  
• "You know I'm down for that idea," he responds (in subtitles, to clarify his speech), prompting Britney to boast later, while having her hair done: "Our sex is so good. ... Ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy."
  

And you know the addiction is getting worse when you actually type "Britney Spears" into Google News. Google should really be ashamed of themselves for making this kind of information available to the public so easily.

And you know it's bad when you don't care that it is freakin TABLOID JOURNALISM and you keep reading it.

• A source told me, “He loves his car almost as much as he loves Britney. He was devastated when he heard she’d sent it back to the dealer."
  
  
• Britney and husband Kevin Federline have decorated their baby Sean's nursery as a nativity scene, with Sean playing the part of baby Jesus. The decorations include six waxwork models and several life-size toy donkeys and cattle.
  
  Britney even bought a cherry wood manger for Sean to sleep in.
  
  "It cost an absolute fortune," one source told Britain's The Daily Star. "But at least she didn't have to buy a baby Jesus - because Sean is playing the part."
  
  
• Spears lost it when a friend of Federline's showed up at their house smoking weed.
  
  "Britney turned around and fired two of her longtime security guards for letting what she called 'the weedman' into the house,'' said a source. "She just seemed crazy with anger.''
  

I have to admit, though, my favorite internet Brit indulgence is her letters to fans on Fug.

• "I am fighting the false tabloids and I am trying to help Kevin make an album although HE IS NO JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and I am NOT just talking about SINGING but you didn’t hear that from me."
  
  
• "I  want everyone to see my bump because my bump proves that Kevin loves me and not just my money even though he also thinks that my money is pretty f***ing sweet, which is what he said to me this morning while he was rummaging through my purse looking for my checkbook."
  
  
• "First of all, he was smoking a cigar to celebrate having the baby and that's totally fine but he actually lit the cigar with a two dollar bill that he set on fire and I told him that we don't have enough money to actually DO THAT and then he told me that a two dollar bill WASN'T REAL MONEY and then I actually had to take him to the McDonald's and buy some McNuggets with one before he would believe me that it was and honestly I am getting a little tired of his behavior."
  

But doesn't she look pretty on the cover of this week's People magazine?