If By Perfect You Mean Honestly, Hilary, What Was So Bad About Lizzie McGuire?

I'll admit that I'm a fan of Hilary Duff. I have been known to play "So Yesterday" at high decimals (you can hear the background vocals better that way) and I own "A Cinderella Story." I even feel the need to defend her occasionally on Fug.

This is why I was avoiding seeing "The Perfect Man." But when it's free Hil and passes the time on a flight, I can't say no.

I wish I had.

Breasts were referred to as "speed bumps."

Hilary sported an awful awful wardrobe. Worse than Cinderella Story. She is wearing this heinous red dress in the opening shot and her hair always looks like it got chomped up into a weed-wacker. [Note: I hoped to link to all sorts of wonderful pictures of the tragedies just described but the internet is completely void of them. Her publicist must have beat to it and destroyed the evidence. (Also, one site was blocked by the Panera filter for "intimate wear/swimsuit." Hilary seems to be breaking out of the comfort zone.)]

She does some really awful things involving making her mom fall in love with an imaginary person, totally ruining someone's wedding, turning on the fire sprinkers in a restaurant, evacuating the entire place and surely ruining everything in it, although you wouldn't know because the only resolution is a high from her "I'm such a rebel because I have three piercings and a tat" best friend.

Did I mention tat-girl's uncle owns the restaurant? Right.

*spoiler*

AND AT THE END THE IMAGINARY GUY BECAME REAL. AND HE WAS THE RESTAURANT OWNER. CHRIS NOTH, ARE YOU EMBARRASSED? I SURE HOPE SO.