My Blue Spot

When God closes a door he always opens a window.

It's simply not that easy. I am living in a house with lots of doors, lots of windows, and I can't keep up with opening and closing. Peace is sometimes the most obvious solution and the hardest thing to find.

So here I am, stripped of all things that define me.

I received a personality profile today that I took months ago describing everything necessary to hire me. It was all out there--the results of a standardized test explaining exactly what my faults were (under pressure I become "manipulative, quarrelsome, and belligerent") and things I overuse ("the end justifies the means"). Is it really even possible to get hired when your prospective employer is given a list of your faults?

An interesting juncture really--on one hand I have decisions that make who I am and on the other hand, I feel as if who I am is already decided and I can't really make any decisions independent of that.

My memory is as clear as gasoline and my shirt has a blue spot on it. And that's all I've got today.