To the reader [of my 2003 Torrey notebook]:

Welcome to my world. Included here is the evidence of my life for the Spring of 2003. People are more important than ideas. This thought was pounded into my head one of the first days I was on this campus. I remembered it closely but I was always one of the ones that leaned towards the people side anyways.

Last semester, my body clock changed--it went to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning and woke up at noon or 1. I spent hours getting to know people, developing friendships, and cramming. I read some books about Greece and daringly acted in a student theatre production. I might even have found love--I haven’t decided yet.

This semester has been exponentially different. I decided to go to bed before midnight. I decided to do my reading ahead of time and do preclass notes before class. On the surface I made responsible decisions and these decisions were thankfully one of things I was able to rely on.

This semester provided changes for me. Coming out of last semester’s Bible session I began to have doubts about God and the Church and everything Christian. I was discouraged and disheartened. We read Cicero and Aristotle and talked about love and friendship while my supports here seem to be falling down. This semester I learned regret and I learned heartbreak. I also learned abandonment as my father left again and homesickness and I tired of people and places.

But above all I learned hope. I learned the history of the Church. I learned the twelve doctrines of the Christian faith. I learned community and learning and truly pursuing the Truth. Ideas have never been so real to me, God has never been so close, and I have never been so worthless without Him.

These notes show my thoughts while reading great books. Sometimes I was suffering the pain of a boy trampling my heart. Other times I was feeling the complete utter depravity David expressed in some of his Psalms. I have learned so much and I have loved so much. Enjoy.

Abigail

"We write to taste life twice. Once in the moment and once in retrospection." ~Anais Nin