I don't know what was harder this year: my dad leaving us or my mom letting him.

Its a horrible feeling to know that your own mother does not think that marriage is a lasting institution. She mentioned today that my grandparents almost got divorced but ended up staying together. After that point they both stopped living and my grandfather eventually died. She gave other examples too of circumstances changing things and drifting apart and basically how it was all okay. I think the reason why she talks about it so much is because she is still convincing herself that she is doing the right thing.

To me, however, it just sounds like "marriage doesn't last" advice. I cannot even imagine being okay with a concept like that. Maybe its my world view or the way I was raised but I honestly still cannot comprehend this seemingly more and more common belief that divorce isn't a big deal. If divorce isn't a big deal than marriage isn't a big deal either and I never want that to be the case. Because I want to marry someday.