Drifting Apart

I had a best friend for two and a half years (give or take a few months). We grew up together and very slowly grew into a friendship after knowing each other since the fifth grade. I don't know what exactly happened that made us so close. He was a boy and his tendency was towards girl friends anyways. I had kinda been looking for a boy friend for a while. We had fun. We had plenty of fights--he kept dating girls who weren't worth his time (I mean, I guess the best friend always thinks that, but honestly, they weren't) and then he'd break up with them and we'd have fun again. Our families are best friends. His older sister and I are close; his younger brother and my younger brother are close; and our parents operate as one unit. I think they all have always expected that we will get married. And thats always the favorite story isn't it? The childhood friends who fall in love?

The truth is, I am pretty sure that is not going to happen. For about half a year now, we haven't been quite friends. There was no falling out, there was no fight, or even a conversation about our friendship. Maybe its because the distance finally got to us. But I don't think so. I think we're just drifting apart. That sounds so cliche but I know that I am becoming a different person. I am not drastically changing or transforming, I am just slowly maturing and finding out "who I am." He is doing the same thing and I guess it turns out that we're not quite meant to be.

It was weird to come home to that. The fridgerator in my house is littered with pictures of us over the years and there is a message on the answering machine from his mom reminding us that today is Christmas-cookie-decorating-day. I saw him at church (I didn't even know he was returning that day) and gave him a big hug and we sat together and whispered during the service and everything. But afterwards I didn't ask him his plans and I haven't talked to him in a week. It kind of hurts me though. I know what he has been up to because we're family. I know he has been out with a different girl every night this week, all just friends, catching up. And even though I don't have this strong desire to catch up, my feelings are hurt that he doesn't either. I'm just the sister he has always had. Growing up is hard sometimes.