Bad things happen whenever I get really tired. I start to realize the worst things about me and all my fears become heightened. I ache for my friends and lonely for some heaven home all over again.

For the past two weeks now I've missed my dad. I miss him calling me on his lunch break and listening to him order McDonald's when I tell him about my day. I miss him telling me about someday when he will have the house of our dreams. I miss him wanting to hurt every person who hurts me. And it hurts so much now that he has hurt me more than anyone else ever has.

And they say that God is in charge. Meanwhile, I doubt everything about me and everyone who says they love me. Life hurts.