Wednesday, February 26, 2003

I'm often described as a "people person." However, getting deep with people is a challenging process. The closer you get the more your flaws and their flaws are revealed. How do we overcome these flaws?

Tonight I let someone make me cry. He is a dear friend of mine and someone I really really enjoy spending time with. However, the closer we get and the more time we spend together the more issues we seem to have. I cannot figure out if this a natural sign of reaching intimacy or a warning sign saying this will not work. Its a horrible feeling.

We're both stubborn which makes fighting very hard. But tonight he wouldnt see my side. And thats why I cry.

Monday, February 03, 2003

I'm kinda frustrated right now. I should be reading, but of course I don't want to be.

Aside from that whole school annoyance I'm really frustrated with people. I exausted and having problems as if I've been back at school for months. Its been just barely a week and a half.People are bothering one another, I'm worried about myself, and my best friend has developed this ability to alienate those around us. I suddenly feel like I'm not sure really who I can trust. With those I was certain I could trust, I don't trust myself to judge that correctly.

My greatest fear is that I won't be able to make friends.My second greatest fear is that I won't be able to keep friends. I constantly find myself suffering from the latter. Why can I not keep friends? Obviously, its something wrong with me and I wish I knew exactly what insecurity is causing this. Sigh. My life sucks right now it seems.

I'm going to read some more.

Saturday, February 01, 2003

Its been forever and a day since I've posted. I'm sorry. I've just been super busy and super lazy (nope, not an oxymoron).

Anyways, I am back at school, dealing with irritating issues that, for some reason, I thought would be gone after break. I was so wrong. Today I made a decision to give myself some alone time and it was really good. Three of my good friends were out of town and a few others went to the beach all day. I just ended up chillin with one of my favorite people. It was good. I got a little bittle bit of reading done but thats okay.

I got a lot more important things done instead.

Tomorrow I have big plans starting at 7 frickin 50 in the morning. I'm going to church for my second time this semester and my third time this school year. Then me and two good friends are going road tripping to San Diego to watch "my favorites" (this term was assigned by another friend) do what they do well. We will just be the cheering section. I am excited!

Now I must read and get to bed. Hope my small readership appreciates this blog.